In most cases of unresolved grief and trauma, a lot of people are extremely uncertain as to what they can do. When they come, I do recognize that they need some things from me as a therapist and counselor. Identifying and understanding problems. Interpretation and analysis of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Well, these are important. But I always discover that they come later. I've eventually come to see that each one who carries unhealed wounds within, hungers to be loved, accepted, and nurtured. Hurt people simply need a safe place to come with their tears. Often, this is denied them simply because of so many stresses or losses that come from living in dysfunctional families and relationships. The result is unfelt, unprocessed pain that fuels pathology and acting out much of the time. During counseling, I also always discover that a part of me is deeply reaching toward them and the relevance it has in my own life. I don't just know. I can feel how it is.
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