She misdirected the anger by retaliation, telling their friends ugly stories about her husband and about his affair. Also, she figured in a road rage that required police action.
Pamela’s chronic anger sapped her energy. That even her young children as well as her work are being more and more affected.
Even as years went by, Pamela’s anger has taken a life of its own. It doesn’t need to be triggered. It’s just there - always and every where she goes.
She’s no longer angry at people like her husband or his affair partner or the bad circumstances of her life. She’s simply angry.
That’s what happens when anger becomes “not normal.”
Normal anger is clean and natural anger of grief. It cleanses your spirit and conserves your energy. Over a reasonable time frame, it fades.
“Not normal” or abnormal anger is hangover anger. It persists indefinitely. It often turns ugly, and self-destructive.
Such kind of severe or chronic anger is hiding something. How do you know what your anger is hiding?
Ask your self, “How far removed is my anger from its true source?”
It may not necessarily be just from present losses and changes. The farther removed the anger is from its true or original sources, the less healthy it is.
Letting go of abnormal, unhealthy anger is to let it go consciously. That takes knowing clearly where your hangover anger originates, how it works, what it is protecting, and what price are you paying for it.
The more clarity you get and action you take on it, the more quickly and easily the unwanted abnormal, hangover anger disappears.