DR. ANGELO O. SUBIDA, PSYCHOTHERAPIST.
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Taking things personally can be a natural response to situations where we feel criticized or attacked.
However, taking things personally can also lead to unnecessary stress, anxiety, and even conflict with others.
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Here are some tips on how not to take things personally:
1. Practice self-awareness: The first step in not taking things personally is to become aware of your own thoughts and emotions. When you feel hurt or offended, take a step back and try to identify what triggered that response. Is it something someone said or did? Or is it a reflection of your own insecurities?
2. Don't assume the worst: When someone criticizes or disagrees with us, it's easy to assume that they are attacking us personally. However, it's important to remember that everyone has their own perspectives, values, and experiences that shape their opinions. Instead of assuming the worst, try to understand where the other person is coming from and why they might have a different view.
3. Separate facts from opinions: It's important to distinguish between facts and opinions when someone is criticizing you. Facts are objective and can be proven, while opinions are subjective and based on personal beliefs or experiences. If someone is giving you constructive feedback, focus on the facts and how you can improve, rather than taking it as a personal attack.
4. Practice empathy: When we feel hurt or offended, it's easy to get defensive and lash out at others. However, practicing empathy can help us understand the other person's perspective and respond in a more constructive way. Try to put yourself in their shoes and imagine how they might be feeling.
5. Focus on solutions, not blame: Instead of dwelling on the criticism or getting defensive, focus on how you can improve the situation. Ask for specific feedback and suggestions for how you can do better in the future.
In conclusion, not taking things personally requires self-awareness, empathy, and a willingness to focus on solutions rather than blame. By practicing these tips, we can reduce unnecessary stress and conflict in our relationships with others.