Sunday, March 27, 2011

When Your Parents Abuse You

Do you have an abusive parent? It's an important issue and even a common experience. There is, of course, no one-size-fits-all answer. Each person and situation is different. However, let me offer some basic thoughts that apply. What is the measure of your love for your parent? If he or she is abusive, would you ignore or tolerate the abuse? Unfortunately, many men and women who have been abused by their parents as children allow the abuse to continue into adulthood. They fear their parents' neglect or abandonment. To continue to allow your parents' abuse through silence or toleration is to enable further abuse. That is not what is best for your parents and their lives. Therefore, it's not love and giving honor to them. To break the cycle, the loving and honoring thing you can do for your abusive parents is to "hate what is evil" and take a stand. In almost every instance, this involves setting a "crisis," drawing boundaries that say, "It's no longer ok to allow the abuse to continue."

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