Sunday, June 19, 2011

Finding A New Family

What do you do if your family is dysfunctional and not in recovery? It's going to be so difficult and even impossible to get support from them while you're in your own recovery process. You're not allowed to be yourself. And often they'd be threatened by your disruption of old family roles with your new beginnings.

Take the case of Peter. He grew up with a physically absent and distant father and an emotionally abusive and shaming mother. His younger sister, along with other siblings, join their mother in degrading Peter for disrupting the frozen equilibrium of their unhealthy family system. He made splendid progress in his healing, yet one can always tell when he just visited his mother and sister. He goes into a setback every time. After finding a new family in the church, Peter became saturated and entrenched in the group. The new family gave him unconditional love and acceptance to support him in his struggle to end his family's shaming and wound on him.

If your family of origin is dysfunctional, it is not the place to get your healing and nurturing needs. So, keep a safe distance, and work on finding a new family. Look for a new, non-shaming, supportive family. It could be the club you joined, some friends, church fellowship, or therapy group. Whatever your choice, you are the champion of your inner healing and you need the support and protection of a new family.

If you need or wish to join a "new family" to support you in your healing journey, send me an email for information on options of weekly "NEW FAMILY" group meetings (hospital, church, coffee shops, therapy groups etc.) where you could join.


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