Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The Divorce Wound

The "divorce wound" is one of the most painful or deepest cuts in human existence. Divorce, unlike death, does not completely eliminate the ex-spouse from daily existence. Responses of the divorced usually relate directly to the causes or sources of the divorce.

Bestselling author, Jim Smoke, identifies 7 basic causes or sources of the divorce wound that seem to appear with the most frequency. They are:

1. The "VICTIM" Divorce
One spouse leaves the family due to immorality/affair/adultery or its
continuation. The wound is usually deepest at this type.

2. The "PROBLEM" Divorce
A spouse divorces the other because of a "problem" the other has such as alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, money, sex.

3. The "LITTLE BOY, LITTLE GIRL" Divorce
One mate or the other decides that he/she doesn't want the responsibility of marriage and family. Causes usually revolve around personal immaturity and lack of learning to assume responsibility.

4. The "I WAS CONNED" Divorce
Deception, lies, dishonesty lead to distrust and eventual divorce.

5. The "SHOTGUN" Divorce
Usually initiated by pregnant bride-to-be and marriage was forced. Marriage by coercion doesn't work which in turn leads to divorce.

6. The "MENOPAUSE" Divorce
Dramatic changes in personality, behavior, and physiological condition can cause one mate or other to leave the marriage.

7. The "NO FAULT" Divorce
Two people just decide that they have had it with each other. They feel it just didn't work out and it wasn't anyone's fault.

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