Monday, September 26, 2011
Blocks To Therapy (Part 3)
Before I became a psychotherapist and counselor, I have had numerous times and situations when I thought I'll never be able to let go of bitterness in my heart. I felt that what was done was just too much for me. I felt justified in the inner anger and resentment I was carrying. I was astounded at the unbearable pain inflicted in my heart.
And I could not believe, on top of all these, when I learned that I had to forgive all the people who hurt me if I am to be whole again. If I had not known this powerful block to my healing, I might have remained stuck in my misery. Processing this at the right way was the completion of my recovery, allowing me to be of help to heal others.
Bitterness is a cancer on the heart, mind, and soul. I don't know of anything that more effectively keeps a person from fully experiencing life than this feeling of bitterness and resentment. The damaging "bitterness root" is within you, not the person who wronged or hurt you.
The bitterness and anger feels like you're given a sense of power. But actually, it robs you of your power. It wastes your time and energy that should be redirected to rebuilding, and poisons your mind and other aspects of your life. As someone cleverly puts it, "Holding a grudge is letting someone live rent-free in your head."
That is why - for your sake, not for the sake of the wrongdoer or offender - you must work out the therapy process by learning to forgive. I'm not saying you do it instantly. It's a process rather than an event. But now that you see it, you can start to let go of the "bitterness root." It is a beginning step away from a wasted life focused on the past rather than growing in the present and preparing for the future.