Wednesday, October 05, 2011
Blocks To Therapy (Part 5)
Several months ago, I counseled a man we'd call Rick. He wasn't interested to go into counseling and therapy until after he lost his family and business. Rick started his sessions with me with a number of disclaimers: "I'm not to be blamed. It's not my fault;" "I worked hard to take care of the kids;" "I love my father and mother and I had a fine childhood;" "I lashed out, but I acted the way I did because they're stubborn."
Rick and I did process together a lot of things so he can overcome his heartwounds over the trauma of his losses. I tried to help him understand himself better, so he could come up with healthy perspectives and action steps. Unfortunately, he kept justifying himself and putting blocks on his healing journey. When he left, he may had learned a number of new realities. But I was not sure he had realized enough that he did not understand himself as well as he thought he did.
It's very difficult to heal what we don't understand. Things change only when they become what they really are. Rick's acts to "justify" himself and put blocks on his therapy stood in the way of his ability to understand himself and rehabilitate lifelong self-defeating patterns. He's not going to heal and change as long as he continues to do this to himself.
"You are the ones who justify yourselves." (Luke 16:15)