Sunday, July 01, 2012

Welcome Consequences As A Therapist

I know of a mother who's always "rescuing" her son. She hopes that by constantly bailing out her violent, out-of-control son from the law, she'll reap a loving, responsible son. She hopes to control the destiny of her son by trying to "save" him from the consequences of his irresponsible behavior.

Rescuing an irresponsible person is not loving him or her. The lesson of "sowing and reaping" is valuable. It teaches that we suffer losses when we are irresponsible. The alcoholic or drug addict has medical and social problems. The over-spender faces bankruptcy or hunger. The adulterer or promiscuous suffers shame, broken family, even physical/health accidents. And on and on.

We all need to enter the therapy room of learning to suffer for our irresponsibility. Not all suffering comes from our own doing. However, when our own sowing or irresponsibility is the one that causes the suffering, the consequences and pain we reap then becomes our therapist. Such can truly save us if we allow it to give us a chance to learn and turn from our self destructiveness.

No comments: