Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Mirror of Love

Sherry is having trouble. Her husband loves her and does very sweet things to her. Yet in spite of that, Sherry feels bad. In her heart, she feels unlovable. She can't really believe there is someone who'd appreciate and love her. She can't feel deserving of her husband's love and care.

I like the idea of "mirror of love." That may possibly explain part of the condition of Sherry. Through the "mirror of love," we learn how lovable we are and how valuable our love is to other people. Intimate, significant relationships (parents, spouses, friends etc) have enormous power to reach deep into our sense of self. It's so because they serve as "mirror of love," mirror of our inner self.

For example, some people have broken hearts and relationships as a result of neglect or abuse in their childhood. Some part of them buy into the flaws (unconsciously, automatically) that were reflected to them in earlier experiences by loved ones even though they know intellectually of the distortions made. The self-image they've internalized from their intimate relationships makes all the difference in their emotional well-being.

That is the hidden power of the "mirror of love."

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