Jessica's Idealization
Psychoanalysts and
therapists refer to “idealization” as one of the common defense mechanisms in
the mind of a child. It’s used to hide, shut down, block, or numb an underlying
pain or emotional response.
Enter Jessica.
As a child, she
responded to her father by idolizing him. She managed to put him on a pedestal
despite her hurts and fear of his anger, verbal emotional abuse, and lack of
attention. She pretended those bad qualities weren’t there by making his good
qualities so admirable.
If only Jessica’s
mother had been able to help her put her father into perspective, she could had
leaned on her for support. With that, Jessica may not had felt a need to
idealize and numb an existing emotional pain. Sadly, Jessica’s mother was also
frightened and could not offer such respite from anxiety.
Generally, a
hurting child (who later becomes a suffering adult-child if unhealed) employs
more than one defense mechanism to find some sense of harmony. Unfortunately,
such harmony is false because it’s at the expense of feelings that are
authentic. The defenses intertwine around the personality and get carried into
adult life.
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