Meet Your Shadow
Let me tell you about Ben. In a strange, backward way, he'd get furious and harsh over men who are unfaithful to their wives. Anger envelops him about it. He'd shout, "I'm not like that!" A few years after saying that, Ben found himself in the arms of a woman who is not his wife. This is how the shadow self camouflages itself when left unexplored.
In the book "Meeting The Shadow," Ken Wilber writes, "If we are just receiving information about someone's behavior, it is probably not a projection." In the case of Ben, he was not merely receiving information but would get so upset, angry, and point a finger in blame. And the minute he shouted "I'm not like that!" he was possibly projecting an unhealed part of himself - a dead giveaway of a disowned part or quality within his inner world.
It is vital to self healing and wholeness that we meet our shadow. Remember, we have every possible quality within us. So when we figure out what we are projecting to others, they can point us toward those parts of our hidden selves that are in need of healing.