Have you been hurting for some time now?
Trauma. Abuse. Unfaithful spouse. Pornography. Alcoholism. Drug addiction. Gambling. Debts. Dysfunctional family. Parenting problems.
I once had this married couple who saw me for help. The husband was into pornography and multiple affairs for decades. He developed a habit of engaging escort services each week to pay women for sex.
In spite of the pain, the wife chose to tolerate her husband's dysfunction for the longest time rather than deal with it. She was miserable putting up with her husband's addictions. But, according to her, she can't confront him because she feared for her financial security.
In severely painful situations like this, an only reliable way to address the growing problem is through outside professional help. The key for the suffering wife here is getting her self and her addicted, unfaithful husband to agree to professional help and follow through.
I've heard people say that they can make it on their own stopping addictions and dysfunctional behavior without outside help. Believe me, such is so rare and even strange as white owls! People who bragged about healing on their own are like Mark Twain who claimed that quitting smoking was easy. He just did it a thousand times.