Grief Work: A Neglected Process

Every human being experiences loss in various times of the life span. It's an inevitable and universal experience. Yet, ironically, despite its frequent or common occurrence, we know very little about healing from it.

Grieving in the different times of my life, what I know is, I'd always wanted to recover. I sought help from all available sources. I attended support groups. I read books, pamphlets, articles. I exercised and applied techniques to my self. I talked with a doctor, clergy, counselor, friends.

Still, after I'd done all these, I remained facing the reality that our society in general is ill-equipped to heal grievers.  The available information and support are either lacking or not sufficient. I don't want to paint a bleak picture because there are doctors and helpers who do extraordinary work to help people heal. Yet there is no accurate or comprehensive educational techniques for practical grief work despite presence of some books and seminars.

In my own practice, grief counseling and therapy is a constant challenge. I've always witnessed how often unresolved grief can accumulate pain over time in people's lives. Whether the grief was caused by death, divorce, or some type of loss, "incomplete grieving" does have a lifelong effect on a person's capacity for happiness and well-being.

Now what can be done about it?  Society does not educate us to deal with loss but rather to acquire and get attached to things. But I say that there are ways to expedite healing and recovery from whatever type of grief.  It's revolutionary, and does not "begin in man and end in man."