Sunday, September 07, 2014
Cover Ups: "I Can Handle It By Myself," "Let's Not Talk About It"
"Let's not talk about it."
I don't know about you, but I never miss untreated addicts - alcoholics, gamblers, sex/affair addicts, etc. - saying these two "cover-ups." These are common "walls" constructed by those who are unwilling to heal. When a spouse or family members realize that the problem has worsened, they've already lived in a delusional world of denial and lies with their addicted loved one.
Addicts lie. They rationalize a lot to cover up evidences of the intensity of their addiction. They avoid responsibility, claiming nothing can be done and yet trying everything possible to hide the problem. Denial and minimization are an addict's major weapons. Never believe an untreated addict. If you're a loved one, it's healthier for you to listen more to what they do than what they say ... unless you want your misery to continue on.
Helping yourself or an addicted loved one move into recovery can be a complicated endeavor. What has taken many years or months to develop cannot be undone overnight or in a day. Rehabilitation can be a long process. Yet compared to the progression and life damage of the addiction, it's an easy and long-term solution. But the spouse or family members need to move out of denial and enabling. They must be willing to do what it takes and expend as much energy as possible to rehabilitate their addicted loved one.