Tuesday, October 14, 2014

How To Rebuild Trust

Trust is essential. When it's broken, it takes work to rebuild. Without trust, failure is sure to come.

This is true in any relationship. Friendship. Marriage. Romantic relationship. Boss-employee relationship. Seller-buyer transaction. Parent-child connection. Plus more ...

I'm thinking now of some simple, basic "rules" to rebuild trust. Ones that fit all of us, all the time. "Rules" that not only rebuild trust, they maintain it.

One is "keeping your word." You are where you say you will be. You do what you say you will do. You keep deadlines, no matter how simple.

Second in my list is, "informing prior to the fact." You keep the other person informed. Don't wait for the other person, say your spouse, to hear of last-minute or emergency changes.

Thirdly, "no secrets." In content and tone, you don't hide. There is no shade of guardedness.

And fourth, "no surprises!" This neutralizes or removes hyper-vigilance of the betrayed other. 

Of course, when there is a deepest cut of betrayed trust, there is initially a "stricter-than-normal" standard for the offending person, especially in the beginning stages of rebuilding. That's just the way it is. But consistent compliance with these basic "rules" I believe will rebuild broken trust more quickly than any other ways.