Thursday, October 30, 2014

Surviving Infidelity and Separation

Infidelity is like a super-typhoon. It rips your life, threatening to damage everything in its path. The whirlwinds of emotions bring fear, anger, and confusion, affecting your family, children, and friends. It hurts so much.

But then, your unfaithful spouse, instead of repenting or making up, continues on with the affair. You discover how he or she has been intentionally deceiving you with lies or hidden messages, and even manipulating elements of reality to blame you. You separate from your infidel spouse.

As the betrayed spouse, you need to survive to start and sustain a needed healing process. There's no way around or easy way out. You're likely wishing that you could get through the pain quicker! But healing is a process. You take it one day at a time. It's a moment-by-moment process.

Here are a few generally well-tested, effective healing actions to survive your spouse's infidelity and separation from him or her:

*  Examine your self and the level of intensity of your pain (is it intensity 5 or 10 etc.?).
*  Seek help or professional intervention (therapist, counselor etc.) to go to the "roots," shorten your process, avoid long-terms costs, and complete recovery.
*  Take deep breaths and exercise, eat healthy.
*  Learn to reframe your suffering - thoughts, feelings, behaviors etc.
*  Spare your children from adult trauma and help them cope, get your nurturance somewhere.
*  Take time to know the real you.
*  Abstain from making major decisions, especially during the early stages.
*  Train yourself on emotional techniques to better cope with your spouse's infidelity and separation.
*  Always be with a friend.
*  Expand your circle of support or community (don't withdraw or isolate).
*  Have a clear, definite plan and weighing of your options.
*  Pray. Know God's part in your healing process.

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