If there is one thing I've learned in my counseling practice, it is that I must not steriotype or generalize people into "labels." Each person is unique. He or she is an individual in his or her own right. To generalize is to steriotype. That dehumanizes, because it denies people of their individuality and free will.

Any one can overcome challenges or pain in life. Yes, every one, provided he or she chooses to. Every human being possesses free will. He or she is endowed with personal power to prevail over life's wounds rather than drown in them. With healthy choices and support, a person can move in new and positive roads.

For example, on the basis of parents who abused or mistreated you during your childhood, does that reality automatically lead to a miserable life for you growing up into adulthood?  Not necessarily, my friend! Why? Because you can choose to refuse to become a victim of your past. You have within your deepest well the innate ability to see promise in the pain: the promise to overcome the pain of your difficult childhood. You have free will to make healthy choices if you truly desire to do so.

Healing is a choice. When you adopt this philosophy to your own unprocessed pains or unfinished business in life, you build yourself up. You reinforce your capacity to become a victor or achiever in life rather than a victim.