So often, we look at people's appearances or external behavior. Then, we draw conclusions. We judge motive or being that may not be the true state of their lives.
Why? We're not seeing roots. Ordinarily, we fail to see deep inner needs and drives that compel a person to say, feel, and do certain things. Yet it's at the deep inner level of our lives that real healing, character, or understanding takes place.
Now before you get excited about seeing and building your own roots, remember this: it takes time. There's no magic, instant route to roots. And it's not comfortable or fun. Nor is it a high-profile process. The process is silent. The stronger, the deeper the roots, the less visible they are. No noise. Less noticed.
Nevertheless, in the long run, the final product of going into and planting the right roots, deeper enough, will be irreplaceable ... invaluable.
In real therapy or personal wholeness, you go for the root problem, not merely the symptoms. Change bad roots to good roots.