One of my counselees remarked that she has a difficult time thinking well of her self when things are failing. She also noted her tendency to blame her self first …for everything. Even when she knows that something is outside her control, she’d still put her self down.
It’s a long-lingering “default mode” in her mind. She needs to become aware of this in deeper ways. As she takes ownership of her own story, she can deliberately shift her perspective on her recurring emotional circumstances and events.
Drawing on positive memories can help. Looking through photographs and thinking about people who love you may be one method. Think about these people who like you — grandpa, grandma, aunt, uncle, classmates, clients, customers, friends etc — and remember what they like about you.
As you remember and visualize the faces of those who love and like you, look with pleasure and fondness. Shift your thoughts and feelings at that moment from self-downing and self-blaming to those who love and like you. These positive memories then of people who appreciate you can help steady you.