First Steps in Separation

If you have a spouse or partner who is abusive, adulterous, addicted, or violent, you may reach a point when you need to have a "healing separation" for your survival, protection, and mental/physical health.
What are your “first aid” steps in separation?
Here’s my top 13:
1. Recognize that it’s ok to have different feelings.
2. Give your self a break.
3. Don’t go through this alone.
4. Allow your self to feel the pain and grieve the loss or breakdown of the relationship.
5. Cultivate new friendships and interests.
6. Get outside psychotherapy help when you can’t manage your self or you're drowning in pain.
7. Take care of your self. Stick to a daily routine of nurturing yourself.
8. Avoid using alcohol, drugs, or food to cope.
9. Eat well, sleep well, exercise.
10. Be honest with your self.
11. Remind yourself that you still have a future.
12. Know the difference between a normal reaction and depression.
13. Important that you don’t dwell on negative feelings or over analyze what happened. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like anger, blame, and resentment rob you of valuable energy to heal and move forward.


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