* he/she has a problem with addiction (eg. drugs, alcohol, sex)?
* he/she can't get or hold a job?
* he/she is chronically depressed and isolated?
* he/she can't or won't leave home?
* he/she is estranged from family and friends?
* he/she is mentally ill or suicidal?
* he/she is in trouble with the police or law?
* he/she is incapable of supporting himself/herself?
* he/she is excessively dependent?
* he/she is aimless and can't face responsibility?
* he/she is disrespectful and disconnects from you?
* he/she becomes brainwashed by a cult or criminal gang?
* he/she gets enmeshed in immoral or unethical relationships
* he/she has confessed being gay?
* he/she commits domestic abuse and violence?
As a psychotherapist and a parent myself, I've been listening to people talk about their children for many years. They want perspective and support for the fears, worries, resentment, impatience, and frustration they experience as parents to their adult children who fail to thrive.
Behind every one of these failing adult children is a parent who feels his/her life may also be falling apart. The parent's heart is breaking. The Mom may be crying herself to sleep in the privacy of her bedroom. The Dad could be scratching his head in confusion.
Parents who feel unhappy about their adult children often wonder, "Where did we go wrong?"