The Dark Secret
What drives people to kill themselves?
I'm not aware of any well-studied psychological theory that explains the nature of suicide fantasy and the final action. But more often than not, i surmise it can be a combination of factors. Neurochemical vulnerability. Identity and self esteem issues. Desperation. Circumstance.
In addition to these factors I mentioned as possible precipitatants of suicide, society and culture seem to also play a role.
Psychology Today writer Abby Ellin writes, " ... we live in a culture where disorders of the mind are kept quiet. People are honest about struggles with cancer or diabetes. They talk openly about injuries. But depression is a dark secret."
When Albert, 54, saw me, he'd been wanting to kill himself. His identity and self esteem was very tied into his social, public profile - his CEO status, his business, his family - and these things started to dissolve when he was faced with economic bankruptcy and loss of work.
He felt so depressed and down. Talking about his feelings to his wife or friends would most likely help Albert. Except, of course, he was not a person who wanted to appear vulnerable to any one in any way. Even in therapy, he struggled with this.
People who have thoughts of suicide suffer from hopelessness that their business or finances will rebound, that their mate will love them, or that someone will want them after a broken marriage or relationship.
Ultimately, therefore, hope is the medicine to this deadly dark secret.