Sunday, April 15, 2018
It's Time to Pick Your Self
A lot of people don't pick themselves. They endlessly wait for others - parents, relatives, teachers, friends, employers, etc. - to pick them.
Noel waits for his family to call him. His parents won't pick him to receive or manage inheritance. Much less, pick him to occupy a position in their company.
For years now, he is immobilized. By his waiting for others to pick him. Especially his family. Instead of moving on, he allows himself to get stuck at home.
As a beginning therapist many years ago, I felt insecure in my practice. I was in the company of top psychologists and psychiatrists in the land.
I got intimidated by titles. I wondered, who'd pick me in the midst of my more experienced/ educated, "celebrity" MHPs (mental health pros). I was diseased with "comparisonitis."
Seeing this, I resolved a mindshift. Focusing and competing only with my self. Realizing who I am. Expressing my own unique identity.
That's when I started to pick my self. Stopped waiting for others to pick me. It's amazing what great blessings and impact "picking my self" give to my life and practice!
When I chose to pick my self, I produced my best work. The gatekeepers kept pouring in to my door. It's as if the choice I made was a golden act that drew the universe to me!
Often, those with lingering mental/emotional disorders have one thing in common: They don't pick themselves. They wait for others to pick them. It shows. In their reactions, words, feelings, relationships.
All of this - the process of picking your self - starts not with your hands or heart. Mostly it's a mind game.
As Steven Pressfield put it in his book War of Art, you have to "turn pro" in your head before you can become one.