If you don't like the situation, you're free to change it.
You never have to think of your self as a victim, for instance. As one abused. As one without the power to make things happen or change.
Author Harry Brown writes in his book "How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World:"
"I've often been bored by someone telling me over and over again how his spouse mistreats him, how his friends take advantage of him, how his boss abuses him, how his lover 'uses' him. Why does he permit it? Why doesn't he terminate the relationship rather than allow the same person to 'exploit' him over and over again? ..."
Having small children was Mildred's excuse to stay in an abusive marriage. And this involved suffering her husband's physical and emotional abuse, including serial sexual infidelities.
In the session, Mildred continually complained of physical hurts, loneliness, and isolation. Crying spells. Anxiety panic attacks. Addiction to food and alcohol.
Indeed, why was she in such dire life state? It's because she'd chosen to permit it.
We teach people how they'll treat us. If you rarely talk to protect your dignity, take care of your needs and wants, you train others to abuse or victimize you.
You don't have to be involved with physical abusers, liars, cheaters, frauds, criminals, controlling or demanding people, or psychopaths who harm you.
It's up to you to choose the people you get involved with. The life situation you're in.
We all have a free choice. Always.