Friday, June 08, 2018
Family Therapy: The First Step to Heal
Lita experiences constant social anxiety when with people. In her mind, she worries that other people are silently putting her down or making fun of her.
As a result, her family hurts. The father, mother, and siblings came to me with sobs of sadness and pain about Lita's isolation from them and others.
In the sessions, Lita recounted her family experience since childhood. She felt caught in the middle of her parents' constant quarrels.
All that time during fights, both her father and mother vied for her support. She felt guilty for everyone's feelings, including those of her siblings.
Virginia Satir, noted family therapist and writer, believes that a critical first step to the healing process is full or 100% awareness.
In her book, "Helping Families to Change," she asserts the following goal for hurting families:
" ... to see freely and comment openly on what you see, to be able to hear freely and comment what you hear, and to be able to touch freely and be able to comment openly on that experience - these comprise the restorative task."
So, to heal your self and your family, here's one master key: Stop pretending!
Based on Satir's formula, there are skills or habits that need to be developed for total or 100% focus and awareness to avoid pretending.
• seeing, not just looking
• hearing, not just listening
• sensing your touch
That's what happens in my sessions in the initial phase. Progressively focus on these essential tasks.
Becoming aware - coming to your senses - is the first step to set you and your family free!