Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Symptom or Root Problem

Emotional hurt is universal. It spares no one. It's simply part of being human.

A woman said to me in the wake of a bitter, painful separation from her husband, "I can't control it, I've always been raging at him, even on trivial things."

"Why do you think you've always been that?" I asked.

"I don't know. I'm just that."

Over time, we processed varied issues in her childhood and younger years. I realized she had grown in a home where both parents were raging at her.

The raging in the woman's life was just a symptom. Her root need was not counseling for her broken marriage and separation.

But ... counseling for the inner emotional wounds that she had carried in silence for over 30 years. Something was festering within her.

Alleviation of symptoms is only temporary.

My woman patient took psychiatric drugs and all kinds of exercise. But none gave her lasting relief.

The woman's wholeness got postponed. Because her symptoms alone were addressed and root causes remained.

If you're addicted to something ... if you feel driven to self sabotage ... if you're always having wounded  or broken relationships ...

Focus on the root, not the fruit.

"If you want to change the fruits, you will first have to change the roots," as T. Harv Eker put it.