Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Time to "Unfreeze" People

I'm thinking of a therapeutic term for you today:  "Unfreeze."

It's from the root English word "freeze" (frez).

An example is a process that turns liquid to ice. We "freeze" foods, liquids, etc in the refrigerator for preservation purposes.

We also "freeze" people. Even our own self. That is, in time.


A long time ago, a young man saw me to deal with his anger. He just punched his father on the face and ran out of the house.

When asked about the reason behind his punching, he said his father was cruel when he was a child. He'd hit him with wood and tie him in their stairs.

The unprocessed emotional wound left him raging within. It "freezed" his father in time inside his brain and heart.

The wound also "freezed" his self in time. By way of free-floating destructive emotions that affect his present well being and relationships.

People are capable of change. With the proper conditions, I believe it's possible for everyone.

As Walter Mosley graphically put it, "We are not trapped or locked up in these bones. No, no. We are free to change. And love changes us."

When you "freeze" people or your self, you get stuck. Unable to transcend, move on.

That includes remembering mistakes or abuses forever. As well as refusing to grant people and ourselves the opportunity to change.

 "Freezing" people in time then results in unnecessary additional losses, wounds, and sufferings.

Who would want that?

No one needs to remain frozen in their darkest moments.

One can learn. Embrace. Forgive. Confront or limit if necessary. Heal and grow in love.

In grace, we can choose to "unfreeze" people in time. Especially our selves.