Friday, September 21, 2018

From Tears to Growth

"We must translate pain into action and tears into growth." (Menachem Mandel Schneerson)

Tears are healthy. When they're allowed to surface, they help heal our pain.

But note, instead of healing tears, we hide. A lot of us escape pain by becoming "aholics." 

"Aholics" are of varied kinds, such as foodaholics, alcoholics, workaholics, drugaholics, rageaholics, shopaholics, gameaholics, social mediaholics, among many others.

Rebecca, for instance, has become a sexaholic after experiencing traumatic relationships. 

Daily, she watches porn, and have sex as often as possible with a boyfriend or different strangers.

Her inner thirst for sex feels insatiable. She wants more each time. 

The compulsion serves to block a pain she's not fully aware of. Always it only makes her feel guilt-ridden and self-pitying afterwards.

After some of my sessions with Rebecca, she began to shed tears. She discovered old pains that she still needed to process and release.

Beneath her sexaholism was a deep sadness and pain over the men in her life. That's how her "aholic" was birthed.

Her father abandoned her when she was still a child. Her brothers abused her to no end. And her husband of 13 years betrayed and left her for another woman.

Rebecca gave it time in therapy. She processed the pain of each of those "snapshot moments" of her past wounded attachments to men. 

For much of her life, she's cut off from her buried feelings and unable to cry. But this time, she's much more and better able to.


Tears allowed Rebecca to express and release the pain in a natural way. In doing so, it cleared her blocked emotions so she can grow and feel anew.