Monday, September 03, 2018

What do you do when people reject you?

Fred had 40 years worth of problems. He felt rejected. He didn't really like himself. Let alone, love himself.

Whenever I'd see him in the sessions "forced" by his live-in partner, I sometimes got too cautious or irritated.

Many times, Fred would reject me. He attacked by criticizing, complaining, and putting me down.

Later in the course of an abuse legal battle with his partner, he even threatened to file a case against me. Of course, his lawyers found no basis for that at all.

Rejection is a common wound. It happens both in professional and especially personal relationships.

What do you do when people reject or attack you?

Smile. Move on.

In the case of Fred, I saw his horrific experiences of rejection and abuse from his parents and siblings. His deep, abject need for love and security.

He had "blinders" that kept him from seeing the source of his emotional and behavioral problems.

His rejection wound programmed him to be rejecting, unloving, and unlovable himself.

My seeing that gave me compassion and understanding for Fred.

When someone rejects you, most of the times it's not about you. It's about the other person (OP).

That doesn't mean you can be chummy friend with the rejecting person. In reality, healthy boundaries may actually need to be enforced to protect your self.

You also may not be the person who can be used to help the person who rejects you.

Remember that rejection is never the end of the world. It's merely someone else's opinion.

So, simply get on with your next trip. Don't allow rejection to immobilize you.

Know how to move on. Better things await you.