Sunday, October 14, 2018

The Essential Four

The mind, heart, body, and spirit  are interconnected. Psychoneuroimmunology demonstrates this in 20th century scientific revolution.

Problems and  pains arise when these four work at cross purposes. A wound or change in one affects the others. 

I once counseled a talented young woman, Carol, whose parents overaffirmed and overprotected her. She received only praises since she was a child.

One day, in a moment of rage, she confessed to her parents that she lost her job and was impregnated by her boyfriend. Carol dashed it all as her parents’ fault. 


She’s gifted. But she was too much praised and affirmed. She learned none of the lessons and experiences that a critical look at her gift and choices would have taught her.

The lack of integration or balance inflated Carol’s ego. Her self struts in unmanageable pride and vanity.

Just as Carol was a case of an overaffirmed person, Cesar will illustrate the opposite. He was underaffirmed.

Throughout his childhood, his mother made him feel an “unwanted baby” born out of poverty. His father, on the other hand, abused him verbally and physically.

Before any group of audience, Cesar would weep and break into tears. Privately, his mind overthinks. His body aches or falls ill. His heart pumps with panic attacks.

All these progressively drove Cesar to rage. When he grew up in his mid-20s, he actually had a nasty fistfight with his father. He described it as his “out of the mind,” “out of the body” experience. 

Your mind, heart, body, and spirit all offer checks and balances to protect and sustain your health. Your well being depends on how well each one of them listens to and nurtures the others.

A lack of integration and balance among them is costly. Your mind ignores. Your heart mislabels. Your body breaks. And your spirit falls out.