Addictions Never Fully Satisfy
A 30-year-old man is addicted to pornography and alcohol. For over 10 years of his young life, he has become progressively addicted to his chosen “drugs.”
In session, he heard himself saying to his wife, “I don’t know what I was thinking when I was doing it. I don’t seem to get enough.” He abstained for awhile but relapsed again.
His wife caught him installing a CCTV in the ladies’ room of their office and downloading its images of women into his laptop and smartphone.
A person who is genuinely addicted to a substance, activity, or person does not feel immediate relief if addiction stops for some time.
I’ve known of a chain smoker who quit smoking 15 years ago but still has a desire for smoking. After a long abstinence, he lately resumes heavy smoking more frequently than before.
Addictions in whatever form never fully satisfy. They tend to continue endlessly, even uncontrollably.
Because the addiction itself is not the root need. It’s merely a symptom.
The root or real need in addictions is not for a drink or drug or activity. Or to be freed from a repetitive compulsion for a fix.
The root or real need is fundamental to the human heart. In most cases, it’s a deep hunger for love and acceptance.
Yesterday, I was counseling a chronic alcoholic young woman of only 22. All throughout our session, she’s sobbing.
It turned out that she’s addicted to alcohol because she’s still seeking, at a very deep inner level, attachment to and love of her parents that she never experienced in life.