Hurt or dysfunctional people usually have a hard time grasping what’s true.
They can lie to themselves. They can, to others. More so, to me as their therapist.
A distressed, separating couple - Kempee and Lisa - once saw me. Both were addicted to drugs, alcohol, and multiple-partner sex for many years.
After they got married, their life became a big mess of lies, violence, betrayal, and secret affairs. Individually, these co-addicts” were masters of deceit and playing games.
Exagerating. Bluffing. Falsifying. Hoodwinking. Minimizing. Blaming. Over-simplifying. Concealing. Disassembling.
Deeper probing yields two lives - personally and relationally - in desperate need for wholeness, truth, and happiness.
But how do they proceed when their foundations as well as their selves are continually sabotaged by lies they keep?
As author T. M. Logan asks in the title of one of his books, “What if your whole life was based on lies?”
There are “limitations” to navigate to disentangle lies that destroy whole lives.
Limitations, for instance, involving limits of language, lapses of memory, subjectivity of perceptions, and influences of culture.
Such is a constant battle in therapy. Things and persons are often not what they appear to be.