Picture this session. David's emergency appointment. Sublime silence between opening our session and the words that followed.
There he related his yearning for his wife whom he just brought into a drug rehab facility. Prior to that he caught her cheating and having sex with different men.
Surfaces: tattooed muscular body, over 6 footer, a successful millionaire engineer, very smart and intellectually objective middle-aged man.
That's what typically catches my attention so easily. Until the outer appearances begin to peel off.
David sobbed profusely. A deep grief and sadness penetrated. I'd learned to get past the surface.
He had a lot of energy. David gave it away in tears like vibrating waves passing from him to me.
David's tears gave me a headstart on knowing him well. And, the parts of his true self that were hidden.
Such few moments in psychotherapy often tell me much more about a patient than months of analysis.
Charles Dickens, once wrote in Great Expectations:
“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before - more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”