He repeatedly told her the core of his game: once she had more therapy, she’d get why he’s become sober.
Instead of looking at how he’s being manipulative and one-upping Jane, Joe disguised his behavior as healthier than hers.
He was self righteous and trying to convince Jane to do what he wanted. When he played his game, Joe hid behind a cloak of spirituality and sobriety.
The “effect” made Jane more resistant and justified to stonewall. She wanted to discover her self and heal but Joe continued to place her in a difficult spot.
One of the most important facets of genuine recovery is self-honesty.
Alcoholics Anonymous 12 step Big Book states that even those “who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders ... recover if they have the capacity to be honest.”
Playing the self help or self righteous recovery “game” is an antithesis of self-honesty. It’s a form of self deception.
With it, you run from the truth. You distort the truth. You twist reality over and over again.
Addiction expert and author Dr. Allen Berger explains,
“Typically, the games we play are designed to manipulate others for emotional support, indirectly extract approval from others, or inflate our self esteem at their expense.”
There it is!
Fight the temptation to run away by playing recovery games. Games keep you stuck. It keeps you emotionally immature and dependent on others.
Get more open minded and have an open heart. Remember, in self honesty and truth, there’s freedom and healing.