Saturday, July 20, 2019

Who Wants Temporary Friendships?

I enjoy watching the sun when it rises. It’s beautiful. But I get to savor it only for awhile because it sets.

One way or another, every thing or experience must end. There’s no such thing as a lifetime insurance or guarantee. That includes relationships.

Psychotherapist Dr. Irvin Yalom, in his book “Love’s Executioner,” had a patient who remarked when he traveled to places:

“I’m afraid that if I form friends here and start to like it, I might not want to leave. The other thing is that I start to feel ‘Why bother? I’m here for such a short time. Who wants temporary friendships?’ “

As Otto Rank once described this life stance, “Refusing the loan of life in order to avoid the debt of death.”

Translate:  “refusing to enjoy watching the sun rise because you hate to see it set.”

Dr. Yalom observed, “The problem with that attitude is you end up with an unpeopled life.”

I knew this was an important issue for Stephen, a 33-year-old client. He felt psychologically and emotionally “empty” inside.

After experiencing three heartbreaks, he found himself unable to be enlivened any more by closeness again with a woman and simply enjoy the moment.

It may sound weird. But Stephen, when he met new dates, seemed right away to imagine what it will be like to say goodbye to them!

By addressing his emptiness and isolatiion in therapy, Stephen began clearing away heart wounds or obstacles. His depression lifted. He started seeking intimacy again.

What is seen is temporal. But what is unseen is eternal. Scriptures says so.

It’s something we can all think about as we engage in relationships or any interactions we want to matter.

Secrets of Your Self: