One answer is, fears. It can be found in the nature and dynamic of your fears. Understanding about what you fear, you reveal where you need to work up to transform how you think about your self.
“My marriage is in shambles. I’m afraid about what people will say about me and our family.” These words reflected a wife’s fears in the face of her husband’s infidelity and their separation.
For months, she became chronically depressed. And started drinking, smoking, and taking drugs heavily.
To beat her depression, she needs to change the way she thinks about her self even amid her crises. It’s full of fears and insecurities.
Dr. Carl Jung once spoke of the “ego.” He said it’s where our fears are located.
The ego is a mere thought. It has no material substance. So, Dr. Jung explains, in order to make it feel “real,” the ego tries to attach itself to “things.”
“Things,” such as relationships, possessions, money, other people’s approval, degrees or accolades, businesses, causes, among many others.
Now, here’s ego’s problem: everything it chooses to attach to is prone to change. Only temporary. Fleeting.
Thoughts and feelings come and go. The roles we play in life change over time. Our loved ones or friends can leave or die. Our body ages. Illness strikes. And eventually we die.
Everything we depend on in this world to make us feel safe or secure will inevitably end. We don’t own anything. We’re merely managers of “things” entrusted to us for a time.
The ego is threatened by that reality.. So when it’s threatened to lose “things,” it starts to get afraid.
It tries to control as much as it can what’s doomed to fail. How do you make permanent what’s temporary or always changing?
Fears are a tight hold of the ego on itself. And this has the effect of separating you from reality and the flow of life.
To change the way you think about your self, it takes training your ego to “loosen its grip.” It involves courage to let go of your fears and see what really is and embrace it.
“If you cling to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for Me, you will find it,” said Jesus (Matthew 10:39).