Sunday, September 15, 2019

Why Are You Tormenting Your Self?

We’ve heard this before: life is hard.

But I feel this fact bears repeating because at times we need to learn or re-learn what it takes to cope with the reality.

It’s normal and human to struggle. But that doesn’t mean you have to add to it, and torture your self over it.

It’s Connie’s second time in the hospital due to attempts of suicide.

The first time, she tried to poison her body by swallowing an insecticide. The latest, she almost took her life by drug overdose.

During our therapy sessions, she can’t seem to stop torturing her self. She did it by continually wallowing in self pity and depression.

I noticed that it’s especially true when she’s progressively uncovering some darker sides of her self. Such as painful emotions and experiences related to shame, loss, self hatred, or guilt.

Rather than working through these discovered spots of darkness and despair, she’d use or turn it into an excuse to wallow.

Here’s one takeaway: when you catch your self wallowing in complaining and self pity, it could mean  another ego tactic of avoidance and denial.

The wallowing increases your suffering and pain even more. It’s a reminder for us of our need to directly process or resolve our real problems.

Why are you tormenting your self by wallowing?

Often, it has to do with your feelings and thoughts about your self. Specifically, the negativities or false beliefs that remained embedded within.

It’s an exercise of true self-acceptance. Some call it “self-love.”

Secrets of Your Self: