Wednesday, October 09, 2019

Defining What is Boring

Steven Pressfield, one of my most favorite authors, once defined what is “boring.”

He writes, “Something that’s boring goes nowhere. It travels in a circle. It never arrives at its destination.”


“My impression is, you keep recycling the same things that never work in your relationship,” I told a married couple in a session a few weeks ago.

The wife asked, “Can you give an example doc of what is recycled that never work for us?” “Your husband just mentioned it awhile ago:  negativity,” I responded.

Daily, “negativity” dominates their talks and behaviors to each other. Outside their awareness, more likely, they do that. 

And it’s keeping their healing and marriage stuck. The same endlessly-repeating loop.

Addictions are like that too. Substance abuse, such as alcohol or drugs. Rage. Sexual escapes. Financial overspending, materialism. Cyber-addiction. And a host of many others.

Repeated act, but no forward movement. No destination gets reached. It’s simply tedious, futile.

That’s what makes addiction, like boredom, a life of hell.

In both boredom and addiction, two primary qualities then apply, as Steven Pressfield put it:

1. They embody repetition without progress;
2. They produce incapacity as a payoff.

Boredom. Remember what it can do to your mental health.