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DR. ANGELO O. SUBIDA, PSYCHOTHERAPIST.
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When I see clients, the battle is always on reading reality. Seeing what really is. Doing what gives life based on accurate reality check.
I’ve encountered two types of thinking that often interfere with how we read reality. One is “wishful thinking” and the other is “fearful thinking.”
“I wish it never happened.” “I wish I had not made that mistake.” “I wish I married another person.” “I wish I had entered a different profession.” And so on and so on.
One of my clients, Rody, working on and repairing his marriage, exclaimed, “I wish I had not given that woman that expensive gift. I can’t forgive my self.”
Just last night, I met a young woman, Iza, from Lebanon who was full of fears.
After two failed romantic relationships and over ten casual sexual relationships, she currently has a new boyfriend with whom she has become serious. He loves her. She loves him. The man seems an ideal potential husband for Iza.
“I’m afraid to lose him. For him to abandon me although he does love me and he’s not doing anything!” Now, Iza finds her self experiencing panic anxiety attacks and unable to healthily continue with her present relationship.
Eckart Tolle, author of the “Power of Now,” explains the great value of being “fully present” in the current moment. To be more intentional doing this brings security and sufficiency in our being.
Unfortunately, as typically happens with stuck clients in therapy, many spent too much time overthinking about the PAST or the FUTURE. All these, at the expense of fully living and appreciating the PRESENT moment.
Hear Mark Twain once giving us a picture of it, “My life is full of tragedy and half of it actually happened.”