Have You Loved The Wrong Person?

Have you experienced loving the wrong person?

By “wrong person,” I mean one who abuses and continues to abuse you. He or she has deceived you even from the beginning of your relationship.

Usually, the abuse and deception take the form of verbal, physical, emotional, psychological, or financial, among many others. Without remorse.

A London-based Filipino married couple, Tina and Joel, once saw me in multiple therapy sessions through Skype.

Tina was deeply wounded. She discovered that her husband had an affair with her friend for years, and bore a child by her.

Not only that. Tina also found out that her husband had been hiding simultaneous affairs with different women before and all throughout their marriage.

Tina had mistakenly loved  a “predator.” Outside of his  evidenced infidelities, she continued being hurt verbally and physically by him, even after the discovery.

Joel did participate in our sessions. He appeared extremely charming and nice. He denied any affair or evidences of infidelity, which Tina unearthed. 

Tina broke down. About to lose her mind. Too fast. After a few individual sessions with me, she finally decided to separate from her husband.

When you realize you’ve loved the wrong person, it doesn’t mean you’re stupid. You were not just groomed or trained enough to protect yourself from a predator.

A predator (“wrong person” to love or marry) is often charismatic and manipulative. He’s been doing and practicing it for a long time.

As a victim, you’re ill-equipped to know and handle early enough a deceptive person like that. You couldn’t possibly see quickly what you’re up against.

So, forgive your self and move on. Charge it to experience. Learn from your mistake of loving the wrong person. 

Be free. If you do, you’re  a better, stronger person now. A “right person,” ready for the right relationship coming your way next.