Saturday, December 28, 2019

When Couples Struggle to Heal from Sex Addiction

It’s so difficult for Ronnie. He struggled with recovering from porn addiction and infidelity. And, at the same time, he missed being intimate with his wife Lorna.

Lorna required him to go see a psychotherapist and join a group program. Determined not to lose his wife, Ronnie obliged and agreed to rehabilitate.

Though living in the same condo, they felt estranged from each other since the discovery. “She’s always angry at me,” Ronnie shared.

“Though I’m doing my best and making progress, I feel as if I’m being forever punished and nothing is improving between us,” he continued.


Lorna remembered that session clearly after hearing her remorseful husband. She listened. She understood in a new way.

Inspired by that session, Lorna realized that she had to start letting go of her anger and forgive her husband in the course of supporting him in his recovery.

Ronnie and Lorna’s experience is one evidence of how profoundly damaging the consequences of sexual addiction (here, in the form of porn and infidelity) on marriage or relationship.

There are 4 areas they’re addressing in their ongoing couple therapy to heal the pain sexual addiction has had on their relationship, namely:

•  Restore and rebuild the TRUST.
•  UNDERSTAND the individual and relational aspects of their experience.
•  REPAIR COMMUNICATION and intimacy.
•  LET GO of anger and FORGIVE.

Dr. Gloria Harris, an infidelity expert and author, writes:

“Things will never be quite the same between you. Your relationship is forever changed. Despite this, we know it is possible to meet the challenge ... and survive ... You can become stronger as individuals and your marriage will be strengthened as well.”

www.drsubida.com