Thursday, January 09, 2020

My Choice, My Belief

“I will exercise!”

That’s a choice or decision made by one of my adult children a few years ago. She needed to lose weight.

One day, when we were strolling together in the mall, we passed by Slimmers World. I bought her a lifetime membership there! It’s my gift and support for her newfound wellness plan.


For several weeks, she did visit the Slimmers gym to do her workouts. Then, suddenly, she stopped going. She went back to her old food habits and sedentary lifestyle.

My loved one is not alone. She’s now making up. But most of us are like her in the humanity of our choice-making.

We have the best intentions about something we want. Yet there’s a strange part within us that fails to take action.

I’m reminded of Tomas. He wanted to give up his sex addiction and infidelity. He’d express it even emotionally to his wife during marital sessions.

He struggled a lot. He said he’s getting his self-worth and stress relief from the attention of different women, especially in sex.

Tomas broke promises. Mostly, in private hours when he’s alone or unaccounted for.  Some were repeatedly discovered by his wife.

Let me explain why this often happens.

Choice differs from belief.

Making choices is an activity of the conscious (surface) part of your mind. Taking action on your choices is a belief (underneath) fueled by your unconscious mind.

Choices are made in the conscious. Beliefs are found in the unconscious.

Author Robert Brault writes, “An old belief is like an old shoe. We so value its comfort that we fail to notice the hole in it.”

Beliefs, the wrong or distorted ones (especially about our selves), block choices or goals we set for our lives.

Unless reframed or rewired to develop healthier habits of thought, those beliefs produce automatic behaviors to keep you stuck. And, continually unhappy, unfulfilled, and dysfunctional.

Create new beliefs then to support your choices.

www.drsubida.com