Monday, February 24, 2020

How To Get Over Your Breakup

Detachment is prescribed to survive any type of chronic emotional pain. It’s meant to stop life-damaging behaviors - not only for yourself but also for the other person.

Oxford Dictionary defines detachment as a state of “being objective or aloof.” In psychotherapy, it’s mental assertiveness” or “inability to connect.”

In my own sessions, I use a detachment technique called “grounding.” Through this in a series of steps, you experience freedom.

Imagine yourself as an Oscar award-winning actor. You’re playing a role, emotionally immersed. At the same time, you recognize that you can step outside and be objective.

The connection between healthy detachment and freedom is especially applicable in times of breakup in relationships.


Between his alcoholic drinks and wife’s infidelity lies Antonio’s walk of peace. When he realized that his wife was not coming back, he saw his need to finally learn to “detach.”

Antonio had to move on. Detach from his emotional pain. It’s simply “letting go.”

That doesn’t mean he can’t open himself up to reconciliation or love again. As author Ron Rathbun put it, “True detachment isn’t a separation from life but the absolute freedom within your mind to explore living.”

To get over your breakup, mind your mind. Observe your thoughts. Distinguish between the voice of your ego in your brain and the real situation where you’re in.

Don’t beat yourself up for the breakup. Instead of continually “obsessing over” and feeling down, celebrate! Celebrate that you are now noticing the lessons you need to learn to transform your life.

Embrace uncertainty with excitement. True freedom can be in the unknown future.

Deepak Chopra says, “Those who seek security in the exterior world chase it for a lifetime. By letting go of your attachment to the illusion of security, which is really an attachment to the known, you step into the field of all possibilities. This is where you will find true happiness, abundance, and fulfillment.”

www.drsubida.com