Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity

“I hid the affair for 3 years. My employee lied for me, until my wife found out about the affair,” Rick shares during a Skype online session.

Rick’s wife reacts in tears, “It’s the biggest cut, finding out that my husband is having sex with another woman, and the deception that goes with it.”

When there is infidelity, lies are part of the territory.

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How can the trust be rebuilt after there was infidelity? 

It’s a common question I hear from my clients beset by fears and the struggle of repairing the marriage after committing to the process. 

Understandably, because of the wound of betrayal, it may take a long time before trust can be rebuilt. 

But it can be done. And it happens gradually. Not instantly. Not magically. 

Trust returns only through enough openness, honesty, and perseverance, with both words and actions,

Rebuilding trust involves both spouses or partners.

The betrayed spouse wants to have faith that his or her partner won’t cheat again.

The offending spouse wants to trust that his or her partner will not remind him or her of the betrayal the rest of their lives.

By working together to heal the marriage or relationship, both spouses or partners can begin to slowly rebuild trust.

Watch Dr. Subida's ABS CBN Talk on Infidelity.