Can You Spot A Toxic Person in Your Life?

About a couple of years ago, I was threatened to be sued by a foreigner married to a Filipina.

They first came to me for marital therapy sessions, which the foreigner resisted. His wife’s issues ranged from womanizing to alcoholism to varied grave abuses.

Eventually, his Filipina wife filed a legal case against him - RA law on violence against women - due to his repeated verbal and physical abuses, including gun-toting.

When he found out that his wife and legal counsel came to me for help, that’s when the foreigner made his threats.

Bestselling author Jackson Mackenzie, in his book “Psychopath Free,” names 30 “red flags” that you need to watch out for to identify a “toxic person” or psychopath in your life:

• gaslighting and crazy-making

• cannot put himself or herself in your shoes or anyone else’s for that matter

• the ultimate hypocrite 

• pathological lying and excuses

• focus on your mistakes and ignores his or her own

• you find yourself explaining the basic elements of human respect to a full grown man or woman

• selfishness and a crippling thirst for attention 

• accuses you of feeling emotions that he or she intentionally provoking 

• you find yourself playing detective 

• you are the only one who sees his or her true colors

• you fear that any fight could be your last 

• slowly and steadily erodes your boundaries 

• he or she withholds attention and undermines your self esteem

• he or she expects you to read their mind

• you feel an edge around this person but you still want them to like you 

• an unusual number of “crazy” people in their past

• provokes jealousies and rivalries while maintaining their cover of innocence 

• idealization, love-bombing, and flattery 

• compares you to everyone else in their life 

• the qualities he or she once admired about you suddenly become your glaring faults 

• cracks in their mask

• easily bored

• triangulation 

• covert abuse

• pity plays and sympathy stories

• the mean and sweet cycle 

• this person becomes your entire life 

• arrogance 

• backstabbing gossip that changes on a whim

• your feelings of panic and anxiety 

Know how to spot a toxic person or psychopath if you’ve run in with one in your life. 

Make sure you heal and set your self free.

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