Staying in Place
My wife Nhorie and I have moved to the place where we are now since we got married.
It’s physically separate from the community and neighborhood where she was born and lived all the years of her life before we met.
It’s home of members of many generations belonging to her family and circle of friends.
No wonder my wife becomes emotionally vulnerable when she’s not able to go back there and visit regularly.
At first, I was not able to get it. It even became an issue that created unnecessary stress in our marriage. I eventually realized what it is.
How could she possibly “separate” her self from the fate and neighboring of people she had known since her earliest childhood?
Her loyalty to and staying in the place is more a psychological reflex than an effort.
So I’ve forced myself to accompany her and get to know her “people” during her visits to her home of origin.
She is happier during these visits. We are happier too!
What a discovery of the psychology of a place for any one of us.
It holds a key to a mental health balance of interdependence, usefulness, and purpose in our lives and families.