True Forgiveness and Psychological Healing
“My father did many terrible things to me and my mother. I know I need to forgive him. But I can’t,” shared an OFW during our Skype session.
![](https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/z5ns_RqDXQkACXdoCujLzt7UOCnxbi3jhLpL9TuKyR-IiXmYUvhT8zFDl632ianuHVw)
What is true forgiveness? How does psychological healing work through it?
Before we answer that, let’s quickly make clear what forgiveness is NOT, namely:
• forgiveness is not sanctioning and condoning abusive behavior
• forgiveness is not forgetting
• forgiveness is not denial
• forgiveness is not conditional
• forgiveness is not reconciliation
Now, we go what true forgiveness is as the basis for genuine psychological healing:
• true forgiveness is acknowledging that a person has wounded you by trespassing against you
• true forgiveness is acknowledging a desire or will to punish the offending person
• true forgiveness asserts the Will to Forgive the trespasser over and above one’s Will to Punish the trespasser
• true forgiveness is a change of mind - not a change of heart
• true forgiveness heals through God’s Grace
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