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Why do you permit something that harms you?
Choices have consequences. Understanding this is part of taking responsibility for your life.
Donnalyn is a married woman who’s living in with a married man with whom she has three kids.
She asked about what she could do given the physically and emotionally abusive nature of her relationship with her live in partner.
She’s stuck. Still she wants to stay on despite the dangers on her life posed by her long standing “secret” affair.
In his book, “How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World,” Harry Brown writes:
“I’ve often been bored by someone telling me over and over again how his spouse mistreats him, how his friends take advantage of him, how his boss abuses him, how his lover ‘uses’ him. Why does he permit it? Why doesn’t he terminate the relationship rather than allow the same person to ‘exploit’ him over and over again? ... You don’t have to be involved with cheaters, frauds, cheapskates, liars, demanding people or anyone else you don’t like. It’s up to you to choose the people you’ll deal with. Friendships don’t have to be excuses for continual demands. And love affairs don’t have to include constant arguments or sacrifices. If your situation does, it’s because you’ve chosen to permit it.”
If your relationship or situation is harming you, you are free to change it. If you do, however, there will be consequences.
If you break up with an abusive partner, you may lose financial support or experience loneliness.
If you cheat in the company, you may lose your job.
If you disrespect your parents, they may get upset with you or experience a “karma.”
You’ll always have a choice. What to permit in your own life. Including the option to change what you think and how you feel about it.
You’re free. No one can make you feel bad or destroy your life without your consent.